Thinking about quitting (BUT read on to make sure you get it all)

That's right, I'm thinking of quitting graduate school. I say this because every day I receive emails notifying me that I have won a million (or more) euros in various European lottery competitions. I assume these emails are legitimate, so I keep sending them my SS#, bank accounts, etc. I haven't gotten any of the money yet, but I have been assured that this is because of routine legal holdups due to the difficulties of intercontinental disbursement of funds. Unfortunately, despite my new-found (and surely soon-to-be-fully-realized) millions, I have recently been informed that just being fabulously rich does not guarantee interviews for teaching positions at US universities. What this means, then, is that I cannot get the job that I want just by throwing around tons of money. Since this is the case, I WILL BE CONTINUING MY GRADUATE PROGRAM UNTIL I AM AWARDED MY PHD, at which time I will buy up most of the Caribbean islands and split my time evenly between those and my light teaching and research load at the most prestigious universities in the world. HA! It's great to be (about to be) incredibly, fabulous, ridiculously wealthy with Euros. If only I could remember WHEN I entered all these huge lottery competitions.... ;)