Thursday, December 16, 2010

And the Winner Is...





...well, you be the judge: These are three photographs of the exact same thing, just taken with slightly different flash/lighting settings. The idea here is that there are four different kinds of coffee, ranging in claim from medium to light roast (and one that makes no claim at all). Your task, like mine, is to try to figure out which is which is which is which. So try to arrange them in order from "light" to "dark," according to the company responsible for them. Then arrange them in order from lightest to darkest roast, in real life (regardless of what the company thinks it has done). I think you'll be pleasantly surprised by which is which is which is which. Brands included in the scientific survey are: Archer Farms Fair Trade Guatemalan Light Roast (scale: light to dark roast), Starbucks House Medium Blend (scale: mild to x-bold), Spotlight (since 1891 or something like that, no scale), and NovoDia Supremo Light Roast (scale: light to dark). Sure, it's a crapshoot. But what fun is life with no mysteries? I'll update with the correct answers sometime later this month or next. But I'm secretly very happy with how this all looks.

In other news, there are loads of universities lining up to try to hire me, but some of them aren't aware that they want me just yet. They'll figure it out soon enough....

There, I've wasted too much time today already. Sorry for the short post, but a mystery/riddle posting should consume enough of your time to keep you happy. Until next time, here's to coffee!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Fall Backward?

Well, what I mean is that it's almost time for the clocks to change their time, and therefore the unofficial - but more convincing - fall of Fall is nearly upon us. I don't expect much qualitative change in either the weather or the moods around here, but there is this upcoming election business, and maybe after that we'll finally be able to get on with our lives and stop complaining about how things are or could be or were or should be. All that money wasted, to convince us that one essentially well-meaning politician is wholly good, while their opponent is wholly evil. I'm still not sold on any of that. But this isn't supposed to be about politics.

Somebody stole my lucky pen last week. So I was going to write sooner, but I couldn't, because of the pen thing. Also, check this out (see photo):
"But, Benficafiend," someone might exclaim, "didn't you buy a Taylor 110 off that guy on craigslist?" Indeed. "And doesn't the Taylor 110 come with those crappy Ping p.w. 1 chrome tuners (with the 1:14 gear ratio)?" It does. "So does this mean you bought a brand new, higher-end Taylor guitar off some chump on craigslist for far less than it's worth?" Nay. Methinks that one Taylor guitar is enough for our household. "So you've traded the 110 upwards for a superior model, with gold Ping/Grover p.w. 2 tuners (with the 1:18 gear ratio, and Taylor stamped on the back)?" Wrong again. Maybe stop asking questions now. It's really quite simple: while I was very happy with certain features of the Taylor 110 that we found on craigslist, e.g. the volume, action, and sound depth, certain other qualities left me a little unimpressed, namely the crappy stock tuners and the nasty plastic (tusq) saddle, with it's slightly-off-center intonation. So I have had to invest $40 in some upgrades, which involved replacing the plastic saddle with a bone one that I made and buying the gold tuners from a fellow Taylor-owner on craigslist. I would venture to guess that it's about the nicest Taylor 110 now in existence (because who else would be stupid enough to try to upgrade such a cheap guitar?!).

Meanwhile, the search for a worthy owner of the other guitar that I bought off craigslist continues, mostly because I'm just not really investing any time in trying to sell the poor thing. It's not a hated guitar, just not as nice as the rest of the flock, and, now that the Taylor is around, not a particularly welcome member of the club. So much for things having to do with guitars.

As may be expected, the vast majority of my time is still consumed with the editing and revising and rearranging of the dissertation, which I am happy to say has been building some steam over the past several weeks. Eventually, it will all be arranged into something that people can read all as a single object, but for now it's still chopped up into six different and only-slightly-related chapters. It's getting a little out of control, meaning too long and too involved, but I'm pretty sure it will eventually be as thoroughly ignored as it deserves. After I've cleared that final hurdle, I suppose I'll have a job all lined up somewhere, but I kind of have to do all the work to make that happen, so I've been sending out the occasional job application in my spare time. There are some pretty nice jobs out there, and I'm a fairly interesting candidate, so you might expect a benficafiend to pop up just about anywhere in North America over the January-to-March interviewing season. Or not. I suppose they could just as easily ignore me as give me a job. I'm not really worried about the job market, because in the worst-case scenario, I just find something else that I really enjoy doing, finish writing my second book, and pick my next job offer based on where it is and the quality of students the program attracts. Not a bad situation to be in, if it comes to that. But I'm sure my wife would much rather see me in a new job by August of 2011, so you can all hope and pray us in that direction.

Don't forget to sign the guest book, you know who you are! :)

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Things That Are Kind of Fun

First off, Mrs. Anderson would have us avoid the use of "kind of," apparently because it lacks specificity. I still use the phrase occasionally, despite the 9th-grade warnings against its dangers. Here's the theme of the week: guitar rehab. See, I bought this guitar on craigslist, and I'm hoping to sell it at a very small profit (making it a flipper, I guess, or a flopper). There were a couple minor problems with it when I got it, which means I had a bit of work to do to get it up to my high standards before trying to sell it. One thing I can't and don't want to fix is the presence of a few small dings on the top and on the headstock. The way it see it, these give it character. Plus, I have no idea how one would go about fixing those. The guitar came with a plastic nut and saddle, and while I have no intention of chiseling out the nut and making a new one to install, I did pull out the crappy saddle and upgrade to a bone saddle, with what I believe is a much better profile. The strings were cutting into the top of the original saddle a bit, so this seemed like a natural upgrade. Note that the notch cut into the bottom of both saddles is an unfortunate consequence of a factory-installed under-saddle piezo pickup. The pickup sits too high in the saddle slot, so I really had to work the underside of the new saddle to make sure that it sits evenly over the entire length of that pickup. Annoying. It is nice having a pickup in the guitar, though, I think that makes this thing a bit more interesting to play, especially when I have to get up on stage and rock out. Aside from the saddle replacement, I also thought it would be a good idea to dress the frets and adjust the neck a bit to make it play more like a classical guitar and less like an electric. I figure if people want a nylon-stringed instrument, they're going to want relatively high action so they can really pull some sound out of the thing. But if they don't like that, they can always adjust the neck back down. I don't really care what they do after they buy it! Ha. Oh, finally, the stupid people over at the factory somehow thought I'd want to tie my guitar strap to the headstock, so they didn't bother installing a strap button on the neck side of the body, or in the heel. I had to do that for them. Since it's a cutaway, I went with the heelcap position rather than the underside of the heel. Very clever of me, so as to allow for full use of all those extra frets on the body! (note that the previous owner seems to have considered putting a button on, so there are two pin-point blemishes on the underside of the heel - bad form, don't you think?) Anyhow, that's all the news that's fit to print today. Most of it's probably not even fit to print. But if you're in the area, and looking for a mighty nice guitar at a reasonable price, let me know. I'm not even charging for the time I've invested in this guitar, that's how nice I am!

Thursday, July 22, 2010

More "News" Than Anyone Requested

So look, we're all depressed about Spain winning the World Cup. But they really did manage to pull off some pretty convincing wins against one or two of the seven sides they played, and I don't think Germany would have been THAT much better had Müller not gotten a bogus booking that prevented him from playing in the semi-final. It's starting to look as if you just have to be consistently decent, never great, in order to win a World Cup, so let's hope Portugal can actually do that for a change next time around. The Euro will be a good start. And that's all I have to say about soccer today.

I have continued work on my magnum opus, the boring dissertation, since I last blogged, and I am confident that I will have the whole thing more or less finished by late August. This is excellent news for many of my readers, who have been avidly following my every academic move in the hopes of eventually gaining the rare privilege of reading my forthcoming book. Don't worry, we're only a couple years from that event! But seriously, I kid. The thing should be done soon, which fills me and only me with a great deal of happiness.

Those of you who have been wondering if I was ever going to upgrade my coffee grinder will be pleased (and somewhat startled) to learn that I have done so, and with very pleasing results. Accompanying that bold move was another upgrade to the current espressing system, whereby the pressurized filter baskets that came with the xp2070 were replaced with krups part #0907163 (purchased here: http://www.amazon.com/Krups-0907163-2-Cup-Filter/dp/B000PJ6R8A), the non pressurized variety. Capresso's infinity 565.5 (also from amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Capresso-565-Infinity-Conical-Stainless/dp/B000VAWXOU/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=home-garden&qid=1279753773&sr=8-1) does just the trick for the grinding, and my custom tamper has eliminated all need for gymnastics and gyrations during the espressing process. I am quite pleased.

Well, that's about all I can say about anything, I have been EXTREMELY BORING lately. We had some friends breeze through town on their way to Tejas, which was lovely, and we've been going out to eat some, because it's cheap with some magical coupons that we get through some website that my wife knows. Aside from those entertainments, I have to say that I'm quite disappointed with how uninteresting July has been, even with the end of the World Cup included therein. It's almost over, so that's good news, I suppose.

Until next time, this has been exciting and informative, ¿no?

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

As Usual, Nothing To Report

But since I am now a widely read author (one of my dissertation readers is in Greece!), I feel a certain duty to my loyal readers and the occasional spambot (check out AirJordan's constant encouragement in the comments section, if you're interested). I've been busily hacking through the final sections of my current project, and I became so intensely bored by what I've written that I'm giving up for the day. Unfortunately, there is just enough time between when I ran out of inspiration (a few minutes ago) and when my evening recreations can officially start, that I felt obligated to do something semi-productive with these next few minutes. Please accept my apologies, if you've read this far.

Some of you will know by now that Portugal is about to embark on what could very realistically be a heart-wrenching disaster of the 2002 variety. By this I mean that in less than 4 weeks the 2010 World Cup will officially begin (June 11). Gametimes are from 7Am to 2PM Eastern Time, but you can get all the details from this website (which is still, so far as I know, officially accurate): http://www.espnmediazone3.com/us/2010/01/espn-inc-2010-fifa-world-cup-schedule/

If Portugal crashes out of the cup early, which won't surprise me in the least, I will grudgingly throw my support first behind Brazil (Portugal's team is getting to be mostly Brazilian anyway) and then behind the U.S., despite the fact that many of my friends support the latter. I expect the U.S. to do pretty well, so either way I guess I'll have something nominally invested throughout the tournament. Portugal's chances are pretty slim this year, mostly because the entire team is built around C.Ron., who has been known to perform in less than stellar fashion for Portugal. In fairness to the lad, however, I should point out that his performances are not really Portugal's problem - the rest of the team's mediocre support for his performances has been the real problem. See, any team can double or triple up the pressure on C.Ron., and in fact every team will try to do so. This is to be expected. Portugal's problem throughout qualification was that, when teams did the obvious and expected, nobody stepped up to contribute meaningfully to the team. Simão Sabrosa and Nani were the most impressive flops in this role, but we can add to them Moutinho, Veloso, Tiago, Quaresma, and so on. At this point, we hope that Simão and Nani reproduce their currently decent form (for Atlético the Mighty and Manchester Ulame-ted, respectively) for the national side. I guess Liedson gets the starting nod up front, maybe with C.Ron. just behind in a sort of 4-4-1-1 or something like that, and hopefully we can get something good out of Deco and Moutinho to round out the top half. I know this leaves Danny and Almeida on the bench, and I am aware that Tiago and Veloso will want to play, but I'm not confident that any of them can do anything impressive. I also don't know what to expect out of Pepe, but I am glad to see he's listed as a midfielder and not a defender. He's suspect at the back, so it's good to know someone will be backing him up. Duda is also suspect, or worse, at the back, but Queiroz seems to like him. So I suppose he'll start, along with Carvalho and Bruno Alves. Or maybe we'll get to see Miguel or Ferreira, both of whom are more reliable than Duda.

So let's review:

Gk: Eduardo
D: Miguel, Carvalho, Alves, Ferreira
M: Pepe, Deco, Nani, and Simao (or Veloso/Moutinho)
F: C.Ron. and Liedson

Well, we're going to have to do some serious playing, but I think we can compete. And speaking of competing, my foot feels great, my brain hasn't fused in two weeks, and I have to go now.

Happy mid/late May!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

April, coming and going

Two months, nearly, since I last blogged. Because I have other stuff to do too, you know. What I've done since last I posted:

1. Not gotten a job, but something else came up, so I'll still be getting paid next year. Good times? Maybe. Cincinnatibound.
2. Not experienced any soccer injuries. The foot is 100% of what would be expected in a thirty-something male who has other things to do as well. The screw was definitely the right choice for me, next time I just hope I make that decision sooner (my cousin had a very similar experience over a year ago, with the same set of decisions and, eventually, the same positive outcome).
3. Written a lot of useful stuff. On the dissertation. That's right. Someday it will all be available in pdf format online. Meanwhile, find something more interesting to do with your time.
4. Signed up for a cell phone plan. That's right. Contracts and free phones. But I also liberated my new handset from the bondage of AT&T's proprietary software, unlocking the potential within. Highly recommended for the Sony Ericcson Cybershot c905a. Much better phone than Nokia 1661 I had been using...
5. Got a new family member. Technically, she belongs to my brother and his wife, but they're going to be stuck sharing her with the rest of us, so they'll get used to it. We got to meet my new niece a couple weeks ago, and she seems to like me a lot more than everyone else (she didn't burp up on me once, and she always cried when I had to pass her off to the next person), but she's tough, so I think she'll be fine even if we're not always right there to take care of her.

That's about it. Eventful two months? Probably. But I just take it one day at a time, putting one foot in front of the other, and focusing on the here-and-now so I don't get my head in the clouds or miss the forest for the trees. That's just how I do. I'm about to embark on a high glucosamine/chondroitin/MSM program to see if it has any effect on the grinding knee joint. At this point, I'm hugely skeptical, but the good people at target have just priced me into the scam supplement market by posting huge markdowns on all their joint supplements. I expect to post the results of this experiement in about a month. Meanwhile, I teach and work. Happy Spring!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Vonn: A Re-visitation of Old Wounds

Here's what I had to say about this whiner Lindsey Vonn a few days ago:

"Has anyone heard about this injury to American superstar skier Lindsey Vonn. As US Americans, we're apparently supposed to be expecting her to utterly destroy the competition in some skiing competition. Or rather, we were supposed to be expecting that. Now we're just hoping she can compete. It seems she has suffered some "injury" that she immediately reported to Matt Lauer and the good people at NBC. The injury is described as a "deep muscle bruise," and she feels quite a bit of pain when she wears her boot. There is no damage to any muscle or bone, nor is there a joint involved. She has some pain when she skis (is that how it's spelled? Ski-s). And her reason for reporting this to Matt Lauer on NBC morning news or the Today Show or whatever it is? To make sure we, the viewers, know that if she fails to impress at the Olympics, she has a valid excuse! Hahahahahaha! I'm a hater, and this is just the sort of thing that makes me think our superstar athletes are whiny babies. Note to self: to create an "American Olympic Dream" story, make up some ailment that most athletes have been dealing with throughout their career with no complaints (you play a sport for a living, how can you complain about a bruise, however serious?!), then report it to the news as a possible tournament wrecker, then do reasonably well in your competition, then write the book about how you overcame all that adversity to bring new Glories to the US Olympic Team! Go Team USA!"

Please refer, now, to the following stories of her amazing gold medal performance (I googled Vonn a couple hours after the event ended). Make sure you look for phrases like "0vercoming adversity" and "against all odds" as you peruse these idiotic stories. Then go back in time and have as little respect for this athlete as I do.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2010/olympics/2010/02/17/lindsey.vonn.ap/index.html
(same AP story here:
http://www.nbcolympics.com/news-features/news/newsid=424774.html#american+women+good)

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20345163,00.html?xid=rss-topheadlines&utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+people%2Fheadlines+%28PEOPLE.com%3A+Top+Headlines%29&utm_content=Google+Feedfetcher

http://www.usatoday.com/sports/columnist/lopresti/2010-02-17-lindsey-vonn_N.htm

http://www.sunherald.com/mlb/story/1960000.html

Retch. Things people will believe coming out of someone's mouth. Well, Vonn's "injury" has done nothing to hurt this admittedly excellent skier's chance at some medals. The only question that remains is why she thought she should make such a big deal of this thing to begin with. I say it's all mind games and gamesmanship, with perhaps a hint of self-preservation and deflection.

Good times, no? Go USA, win me something for being a citizen of the same country as you!

Oh, and lest I leave you with the impression that the entire press has bought into this idiocy, please finish things off with this story, which has only a passing reference to the (supposedly catastrophic) shin injury:

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703444804575071801533053806.html

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Let's Keep It Moving

Today I have very little to say, but I'd like to list a few things that irritate or amuse me. I expect most of my readers to agree with me on these, but you'll probably want to add this blog and its stupid entries to the list of annoying things. I'm still not annoyed by it, but for the fact that I have to keep writing new entries.

First off, has anyone heard about this injury to American superstar skier Lindsey Vonn. As US Americans, we're apparently supposed to be expecting her to utterly destroy the competition in some skiing competition. Or rather, we were supposed to be expecting that. Now we're just hoping she can compete. It seems she has suffered some "injury" that she immediately reported to Matt Lauer and the good people at NBC. The injury is described as a "deep muscle bruise," and she feels quite a bit of pain when she wears her boot. There is no damage to any muscle or bone, nor is there a joint involved. She has some pain when she skis (is that how it's spelled? Ski-s). And her reason for reporting this to Matt Lauer on NBC morning news or the Today Show or whatever it is? To make sure we, the viewers, know that if she fails to impress at the Olympics, she has a valid excuse! Hahahahahaha! I'm a hater, and this is just the sort of thing that makes me think our superstar athletes are whiny babies. Note to self: to create an "American Olympic Dream" story, make up some ailment that most athletes have been dealing with throughout their career with no complaints (you play a sport for a living, how can you complain about a bruise, however serious?!), then report it to the news as a possible tournament wrecker, then do reasonably well in your competition, then write the book about how you overcame all that adversity to bring new Glories to the US Olympic Team! Go Team USA!

On a similarly snarky note, I'd like to point out that, with stories like "Canada welcomes the world" and "The one sporting event that can truly be called a global phenomenon," NBC, CNN, and the rest of our US media outlets are trying to deceive. I know that Jamaica has a bobsled team and all that, I did see Cool Runnings. But seriously? The "World" is involved in the winter olympics? I bet I can list 30 countries that won't be involved and won't care that there are winter olympics. Bringing things closer to home, I can guarantee that, even if the US Olympic Team sweeps the entire event, raking in gold, silver, and bronze in every event, I will gain absolutely nothing from that fact. I will not be particularly happy for the winners or sad for the losers. I will be impressed that the families that sponsored those athletes in their goal to win the olympic event of their choosing have finally succeeded, but I will also be more impressed (in a negative direction) that so many more families have, once again, failed in that endeavor. This is all just another entertaining reminder of how much money we as a society invest in things that, ultimately, matter not a whit. At least the athletes are enjoying themselves, so I guess that's a good thing, right? I'd just rather we spent a bit less on these ego-inflating competitions. I know, same thing applies to international soccer. Leagues still pay for themselves pretty well, so I can't really make the same comparison there.

Next on my list of complaints: you know those people who insist on walking down the middle of the road after it snows? No, of course you don't, they're all dead by the time they reach our age! Ha, but seriously, those people really annoy me. If I'm driving down a very slick street, just trying to avoid getting hit by the other drivers on the road, should I also have to avoid stupid pedestrians who think that the street is somehow safer than a sidewalk? Apparently I should. But if you're a street walker (!), get back on the sideWALK, that's what it's there for. Walking. If I catch you on the street, you had better be running - then you can at least make the "I was afraid I'd twist my ankle" excuse, which is nonsense if you're just walking. If you're going to fall, wouldn't you rather fall on a sidewalk where your worst concern is falling in a frozen dog pile or getting stepped on by another walker? You fall on an icy street, and suddenly you're praying that that car sliding down the road toward you has ABS and a driver who isn't busily texting her bff and checking road conditions on her web-enabled device, all while trying to follow her gps screen so she can get home from work. See? Seriously people, we should walk on the sidewalk, even when it snows.

Finally, in the "amusing notes" section, I'd like to step into the political arena for a moment. It appears that Sarah Palin has used crib notes in some sort of speech or Q&A or something. I'm sure that's a no-no in some places, but I really don't care what she's written on her hand. She's a nutcracker, can't we just ignore her? No, because the news WILL shove her in our faces every day. But we're just The People. By contrast, the President and his staff should (and absolutely can) ignore her. They are not running a campaign, there's not even an election on the near horizon. So why are they responding to her? She's not a politician, she's not even a serious contender for some future position at this point. But now the entire world knows that the White House pays attention to her, and that it is even willing to respond to her insane "ideas." (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8507322.stm) If the President of the United States now has to address the idiotic words of every crackpot who appears at any political event from here to 2012, then we're really not going to have much progress on anything between here and there. Let's let late-nite comedians and the generally unsympathetic news media destroy Palin and other lunatics who so love the lime-lite, and get on with the important stuff of running this country. Oh, and let's impose term limits on Congress, stick in a line-item veto to kill off all the BS pork barrel projects, and abolish the two-party system that has us stuck in this sad little holding pattern. Some amusing story, eh?

Keep watching the skis.


postscript: I can't believe I forgot this, but a subject that has become a very sore spot for me is this "recession" that we're currently experiencing. Sure, we're all suffering, so it's a sore spot for all of us. But am I the only person who's completely offended by these pet food commercials where the cat's eating shrimp and salmon, and the dog's too picky to eat the dry food so you have to microwave the little meal container? We can't find jobs, we can't pay our mortgages, taxes are too high, they're repossessing our cars, and we can barely feed our families, but we're not about to feed our animals some crappy dry food. I'll bet you're thinking, "don't these commercials only appeal to a select few members of our society, isn't that why these make sense even in a recession?" But it's time to face the facts: if these commercials didn't work, and work well, they would have stopped running them some time ago. As it is, clearly our country is spending far too much on feeding things that could just as easily be used to feed us (OK, I guess that crack is going a bit too far, but you get the idea). Buy the 50# bag of dry food, which could incidentally feed the family in a bind, especially if you grind it up and make flour and bread from the powder, leave the microwaveable seafood feast for later, when we all have jobs and money to burn!

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Vibram Fivefingers


This is the bandwagon, and I'm jumping onboard!

http://www.vibramfivefingers.com/indexNA.cfm

As soon as I can track down a pair in my size, that is. And I'm not buying my first pair online, so my good friends at Bob Roncker's Running Spot will be hooking me up (www. runningspot.com). I'm curious to know if normal people are wearing these things, because so far all I can find are avid runners who swear that they're the next big thing in running. Personally, I don't plan to run in them any time soon - maybe after I've had a chance to get really comfortable in them. I'll keep people updated, especially as this may have some effect on my bionic metatarsal!

*update: January 31, 2010, Picked up my freak feet the other day, now we're all set to commence with the experiment.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Happy 2010

Ok, so I'm almost two weeks too late. But it's never too late to read your (dozens of) readers (worldwide) a happy new year. Unless you've done so already, then it's kind of awkward to do so again, and you cringe remembering having spoken to so-and-so already this year, but too late. Try it sometime, it's going to make you and them uncomfortable.

I haven't done anything exciting since we last met. Unless you think it's exciting to visit Texas and California. Then I have done two things exciting since we last met. Those are good ways to spend the holidays, southward and westward. I've been reminding people that we haven't had a white Christmas since 2006, with all the traveling we've been doing over the past few years. But I've never really needed a white Christmas, just a familiar one, and somehow we almost always manage one of those. Christmas 2008 was the only exception I can remember, and we still had a pretty good one with a couple who were in the same boat, and I at home, in a way. Mary and Alex, if you're out there, we should totally do Christmas x3 in some other random location. But let's keep doing it all last minute and not plan anything until the day is upon us!

I've got to get back to the work that matters now, so I hope I've entertained long enough to maintain my slim market share. Please feel free to ignore the guest book and comments sections, they're just part of the layout and I really don't read such things (or rather, wouldn't, if I knew how).